where are you?


it's been ages since we've last spoken to you.
even wishing you a merry christmas seems to be an impossible feat.
why can't you just be an ordinary mother, one that asks her children how was school and everything, instead of staying thousands of miles from us.


staring down the telescope of years at the ways things used to be.
you never attended any concerts of mine and never even collected my report cards.



everytime i hear a familiar lullaby, i wish i were deaf.

that's because it reminds me of you leaving us when we were in kindergarden.
it's was the lullaby that helped us sleep at night.
you weren't the one who told us bed time stories.


there've been countless nights, nights i've been hiding under the blanket crying.
my tears are like a dripping faucet that i can never shut off.
how can you possibly survive at a place so far without any close relatives by your side?
don't you miss us?


I always envy some friends of mine whose mother would scold them for getting bad grades.
at least they have mothers who care for their children.
you never ask me about my college, my results, my life.



when pa brought us all out for a dinner or outing, I never feel happy because there's someone missing. a screaming empty hole.

one that you should be filling.

browsing through the photo albums, I can hardly find a picture of our complete family.

we really miss you.